Monday, December 31, 2007

The Year of Weddings


It's been a wonderful year.

Of course It's been! Its enough that It has two numbers of my most favorite numbers! Two & seven!

A lot of things happened in this year, just like in any other year, people born, people dying, natural disasters, human-made ones, killings, wars ...

Just the usual stuff.

But what was so significant in this particular year, here in Kuwait, was that a lot of weddings occurred during this year! & by a lot, I mean 9 weddings! That's just so much!!! (& I'm only talking about the ones I attended! - The actual number might be over 15!!!! If I counted the ones I did not attend!)

Cousins, friends, neighbours. Young & old. All getting married. And not just In my family, everyone I see says the same! Shopping was a hard because people can't seem to leave anything!! Lucky salesmen!

It rarely happens. In the past, we used to wish for a wedding! But now I don't wish for it! I'm fed up!!!

Do you wanna know why?

Because it drains oneself up!

Emotionally, You get stressed out. I always fuss about social gatherings. I hate the fact the I have to get dressed, do my hair, & everything else! (At those times I wish I was a boy!) Why do we girls have to wear all those glamorous dresses & make-up without fussing about it!!! Well, I know some of you do it routinely like it's as simple as brushing your hair (well, that I have a problem with too), or washing your face?

I really wanna know!

But preparing for a wedding, has another side effect. The financial part!!!!!

I can tell you, I'm officially bankrupt.

And I can assure you, I'm not the only one!!!!!!!!!

Let me give an average sum for a "simple" wedding outfit:

Dress: 60-150

make-up: 10-35

Hair: 15-25

Accessories: 15-30 (we're talking about cheap ones - real ones don't count)

Shoes: 30-70

Bag: 10-40

Total average: 140-380

almost 400 K.D!!!!!!!!

& that's just for a normal-not-over-the-top gawn!

so, can you blame me for beings bankrupt?

Oh, & notice that you can only wear the outfit once! You don't wanna be seen in the same outfit twice! (Unless you make sure the people you're visiting have not been in any of the previous occasions! That excludes your closest family of course.)

It's just so frustrating!!!!

Aaah, I really envy my brothers, males of the opposite sex. It only takes them 20-30minutes to take a shower, wear a Dishdasha & Ghutra, & that's it! Viola! Done! They don't have to do facials, do makeup, do thier hair, or wear the expensive of clothes just to stand out & make sure no one is wearing the same as they are. They don't bother, because they all wear the same!

Of course, I'm not talking about the "softy" ones, or the "fashion-victim" ones, or even the fashion interested ones. They can take long times as we girls do jut to get ready. But I'm talking about real occasions like Eid, or any other important ceremony like weddings, where the boys have to wear the traditional Kuwaiti Dishdasha. Then, there's no way of comparison. Boys win.

I really wish (a lot of times) that I have a magic wand! I could just zap myself in any dress I want, & do everything else just in a matter of seconds, & I'd be done!!

I wish!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Weddings ... Gotta see the Bride!!

My best friend got married today!

Oh, you know, I hate the preparations for any social event. You have to pick up a dress, choose the right hairdo, make up ... Oooh! It just too much!

Even though I have slept about 8 hrs yesterday, which believe me is incredible! I'm exhausted! I had to take a shower, do my hands & legs, do my hair, get dressed, do my make up, then go to the salon to do the real hands, legs, & hair doing, then go back home to pick mom & get the last finishing touch, which believe me does not exist! All the way to the event you're constantly re-doing & re-checking everything!!!

All this bitching does not come close to what the bride has been through!

I could only imagine ...

You know, I am a girl, but I really don't like all these girly things! Sure I love to see myself all pampered & dolled up in the end, But it's really exhausting. Thank God, I only have to do it every once & a while!

But I could never tolerate doing these things every single day! I really don;t know how some people do it! I mean, you can see girls nowadays wearing the best at all times. Even in the morning! their hair is all puffed up as if they're going to a wedding, but no! They're going to the dentist, or to school, or to college ... etc. How do they do it? Or the most appropriate question would be, Why? We barely get out of bed everyday, & those are getting up way early in the morning just to do their hair?!!!!!!!

Some people!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Accidents: Taken For Granted

I wrote this today on my way to my 6 o'clock English Class ...


6:00 P.M: I'm Currently driving while I'm writing this. Well not quite literally, the cars aren't moving. The sixth ring road is totally blocked. Traffic is a mess.

It must be an accident. That was my first thought.

I really didn't think too much about it. My mind was busy wondering when I'd reach my class. Just when I thought I'd be on time! It's 6:05 ...

A while later, a police car passed in a hurry next to me on the emergency lane (I was on the far left), it's sirens echoing ... God, it is an accident ...

Still, I wasn't moved. I removed my Ronan Keating CD, & replaced it with a George Michael one. I was trying to kill the time.

But then an ambulance came on too. This time, the siren was a bit chilling. I wondered if it's really serious. My train of thoughts trailed off to the ones who do such a job. The paramedics. I remembered a guy who works as a paramedic whom I met in one my English Classes at Expression. I thought how noble that job is.

I continued on listening to the music, but not really listening. I suppose to be in class! I think to myself as I glance over to the clock. It's 6:25 now.

Then just a while ago, a fire truck passed! That's when my heart sank, & I became really apprehensive. What if it's really serious? What if it's someone I know? It couldn't be mom, I was just with her on the phone. What if it's my brother?

& before I could list all my family members, my eyes started to well up in emotion. What if I really lost one of my relatives? Why this thought never occurred to me before.

Why do we take everything for granted?

Another police car came near, stopped on the left & right a head of me on the emergency lane. The policeman, gets out, & heads to a car that was on the same lane as the police car. I wondered if he was giving him a ticket.

Then it hit me, I might get out! I just have to ask the policeman if I can take another road. So, when he finished with what he was doing, I quickly opened the window & asked him what to do. He said: "You can take the South Alsurra exit, then onto the fifth ring road". But that would take so long; the exit was pretty far. So I asked what was the matter. "An accident", was all he said. So, I asked: "How long will it take for the road to clear? About ten minutes?" he agreed. It was 6: 32.

Fortunately, the road started moving, & in 5 minutes, I was driving 100 km.

6:45 P.M: I entered the class & smiled to Mrs. Rajee, (They don't mind coming late that much). I decided not to say anything, as I didn't want to interrupt her even more, but just when I was about to sit, another girl entered & instantly she said that there was an accident, & that she's sorry. Then, I decided to talk about it. The class was not that interested. They took it for granted. Ironically, they were just discussing our Essay homework, which talks about Accidents!

I was thinking this morning about what I shall be writing, & I never knew that I was going to encounter all of this!

Funny how everything seems to be talking about accidents today! I was just on MySpace, & I randomly & coincidentally found this poem (I googled to get the Writer's & poem's names):

The Wreck On Highway 109
by Ruth Gillis

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
they said had run the light
that caused the six-car pileup
on 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
and blood was everywhere,
the sirens screamed out elegies,
for death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car,
was heard above the noise;
her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinioned hands;
she struggled to get free,
but mangled metal held her fast
in grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused on
where the back seat once had been,
but all she saw was broken glass
and two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
she did not hear them cry,
and then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
"Oh, God, don't let them die!"

Then firemen came and cut her loose,
but when they searched the back,
they found therein no little boys,
but the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
and was traveling alone,
but when they turned to question her,
they discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild
and screaming above the noise
in beseeching supplication,
"Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
their jeans are blue to match."
One cop spoke up, "They're in my car,
and they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there
and gave them each a cone,
then told them both to wait for Mom
to come and take them home.
I've searched the area high and low,
but I can't find their dad.
He must have fled the scene, I guess,
and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said,
while wiping at a tear,
"He could not flee the scene, you see,
for he's been dead a year."
The cop just looked confused and asked,
"Now, how can that be true?"
The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came
and left a kiss for you.

He told us not to worry
and that you would be all right,
and then he put us in this car
with the pretty, flashing light.
We wanted him to stay with us,
because we miss him so,
but Mommy, he just hugged us tight
and said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand
and told us not to fuss,
and he said to tell you, Mommy,
he's watching over us."
The mother knew without a doubt
that what they spoke was true,
for she recalled their dad's last words,
"I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain
the twisted, mangled car,
and how the three of them escaped
without a single scar.
But on the cop's report was scribed,
in print so very fine,
An angel walked the beat tonight
on Highway 109.

Copyright © 1999 Ruth Gillis
All Rights Reserved

"The Wreck On Highway 109" received a
First Place Award in the April 1999 issue of Poet's Review.

If you liked this poem & would like to check other works by Ruth Gillis, you can visit:

House of

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

If only I had a Little more Faith in Myself!

OK, I still don't have enough faith in myself ...

I had my Arabic grammar quiz ...

& I was bad!!!!

The exam was not that hard, that's why I hated what I've accomplished! I know I have messed up big times, I can picture what grade I would get ... Out of 15, I might get 10 ... & I'm being generous!

You might wonder why am I fussing about an Arabic grammar quiz? Everybody, & nobody gets full grades (except for the profs & the cheaters), but the thing is I really enjoy grammar ... I was good at it back in school ... I was good ...

But that was years ago, I have forgotten all about it! Plus, what they were teaching us, & the way they taught us, is no where near what I'm experiencing now!

But let's get back to the "Faith" thing. There were 3 questions in particular that got me all confused. Is it this? Or that? Hesitation ... That's one of my biggest unpleasant traits, I shall admit. Anyways, I couldn't figure out the answers, & time was running out. Then the teacher, had to take the papers, & I reluctantly handed in mine.

Discussions, girls chatting & bickering about the quiz, were the typical things to happen next. I wasn't sure about my answers, especially the ones I haven't jotted down! So, when nobody gave me a reassuring answer, I decided to go ask the Prof, myself. So, I went, & did.

I wish I didn't. Every little answer that I didn't write down (because of HESITATION!), turned out to be right!

I was right. I was right all along!

If only i had written them down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stormed out of the university, with the song "Faith" in mind: Gotta have faith, ooh, I gotta faith ... Ironically that's one of my favorite George Michael songs!

Well, that just proves something else ... I can be shallow sometimes!

Everything Seems Sweeter Before Exams!

It's November, so it means it's time for exams!

I hate exams!

But who doesn't?!

I had a quiz today, my first this semester, & for the passed 3-4 days, I've been studying, & preparing for it. After all, it's an Arabic Exam! God, & it's all about grammar!

Well, I wouldn't really call it "real studying". The first three days, I was just skimming, bored to death, while listening to Michael Jackson's songs of the 90s. My real studying started 15 hours before the quiz to be precise.

Anyways, studying for this exam was nothing extraordinary. I procrastinated as much as I could! Let's face it, studying for a subject you love can be exhausting, let alone a subject you're not very fond of! Watching TV becomes very amusing & intriguing when you have to study for a quiz! You would watch anything, from movies to sitcoms, to different series that you had no prior interest in, in the first place! Even news seems amusing!!!

Not just watching TV, or going online, or playing video games would be more enjoyable during exams, but any exam hater- procrastinator would be glad to do whatever just to stay away from those humongous study books! You would want to take longer showers, & really try out the new fragranced shampoo & conditioner you bought two months ago. You would decide to tidy up your messy bedroom your mom begs you to tidy up every single day (even it was already tidy, you would gladly mess it up, then give it a once-over!). You would even chip in & help with the chores you normally hate doing. And you would like to linger & stay with your family, something you don't normally do!

You would spent hours on the phone, or IM chats with your friends, & start creating fairy tales, & laugh your head off, do whatever attracts you, no matter how silly it might be.

Also, (& that's more for the boys), you like to hang out & stay for longer hours than usual with your buddies assumed to be studying while you're actually cruising up & down the Gulf, & Love roads, the different malls of Kuwait, & even the local co-ops!! Any where, it doesn't really matter as long you're away from what's dreadful!

Then after the cloud of drunkenness evaporates, & you wake up with this huge hang-over that your conscious has burdened you with, you scurry in a hurry to grab any note book, & quickly flick through the pages, gaping at what seems to be a blur in a rush of adrenalin. You take a quick glance at the clock that feels like it's thumping along with your nervous frightened heartbeats. There's no time left; you gotta face the music!!!


Aren't we all like that? Have we all done this, even if for once?

Let's be honest, even nerds dread exams!

God, maybe it's a guilty-pleasure syndrome? You feel guilty, yet you wanna stay away for as long as you could muster!

Whatever it is, Humans fear the unknown, & worry about the future, & one way to avoid all this, is by not thinking about it. Just trying to forget, & trying to be free from all the anxieties.

Weird, isn't it?

Well, not so much ...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Another One Bites The Dust

In just a matter of days, another one of best friends is getting married.

I know I'm being negative & pessimistic when I say this, but I hate it when my best friends leave me!

It's not that I'm not happy for them, oh God, I'm over the moon! But I can't help the feeling of losing them. Let's face it, they are going to change. Despite what they say, about never changing, let them get busy, have babies, & POOF! I'm no longer there!

It's true, we've grown apart once, when we all went to different colleges, & different jobs, we talked less & barely saw each other, yet the feeling of friendship, of having things in common was there. But once they get married, it's a whole different thing. It means we're no longer single.

It means they're gonna be responsible for a house, a husband, & God willing, babies. This whole future busy schedule will leave so little (if no) room for going out with their single girlfreinds, aka me.

I know you might be thinking, "Oh why do you care so much? You are getting married too you know! Don't be such a jealous bi***!" Well, first of all, I would never feel jealous, that's the last thing on my mind, simply because I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED! I wanna stay single as long as I wish, & to (I'm not gonna say hell) to all who feel sorry for me! I really wonder why do they feel sorry??? It really BUGS me!! Whenever I feel like getting married, I will! But it shouldn't be a priority & a stressful thing everybody should do! Thank God, it's not obligatory! See, it's not even obligatory! Then why do our societies make is as such?

Ouuf ...!

Picture by Jeff Belmonte taken from this Wedding Picture site.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Never Lose Faith!

Self confidence is one of the most important traits anyone could have. If you have great self confidence, you could easily do everything you want. You won't care what others would say, or do. And if you made a mistake, you won't feel that the world has fallen down on you, & wish to die.

Well, everybody feels down every now & then, even the most confident. What matters is how we rise up from the fall with our prides untouched.

Sometimes, I lack self confidence. I just lose it. Like yesterday, I was in the English class, my number one favorite subject, where I rarely lack confidence, we were doing a little test (or an exercise, I really don't remember) after the teacher explained the "The Reported Speech Rules" & the question was, report the following sentence: The cook says, "Dinner is ready." I thought this is easy, & quickly & confidently jotted the following answer down: The cook says that dinner is ready.

Mrs. Rajee, our teacher was passing around checking our answers, & when she came to me, she didn't say or do anything that lets me know that I'm on the right track. Probably because I haven't really written the whole sentence (the answer) when she came. So she went to the girl sitting next to me, & i think she has written the following: The cook says that dinner was ready. Mrs.Rajee put a sad crying face in her note book. & did the same to girl sitting next. & so on.

I didn't know that that was a crying face, I thought they were correct. My confidence was shaking at that moment. I knew that my answer was correct. I even remembered how Sophie Kinsella always writes reports in the present in her books. That's what I told my classmate, the girl sitting next to me. I really thought the teacher was wrong.

So I got confused, & looked again at my class mate's answer, & decided I should write the same. So I did. And then Mrs.Rajee came back to me, & found two answers (I just couldn't erase the first) so she asked me, which one will I keep, & I got real hesitant, but finally chose the wrong one, so she gave me a crying little face just like the others.

I was sooooo mad at myself. I moaned & grumbled in frustration! I knew I was right! Why did I change the freaking answer! This is the first time it happens to me!

Why? I'll tell you why! It's because I cheated. Yes, I confess, I cheated. It's something I never did in my whole life (except for doing homework & exercises). But I completely forgot that we are supposed to be doing this separately. It was a test! God forgive me for getting low!!! I really despise myself at the moment!

I won't forgive myself, I wish I didn't care about getting the right answer no matter what. True, I really thought it was just an exercise, but even so!

Next time I won't look, nor give anyone answers even when having just an exercise!!! Yes, Miss.Meany is back!!

But, you know, I got a lesson out of that whole incident. a lesson I knew already, but probably needed to re-remember it. Always have faith in yourself. Never falter. Never forget that God is looking after you & whenever you needed him, he's there for you.

God please forgive me, & all of us who have sinned. Always be there for us, guiding us to the good, & keeping us from harms way.

P.S: It wasn't really a test. It was just a little quiz, with no marks involved. So, that means, I didn't cheat in the first place!!!! Legally speaking, I didn't do anything criminal! :) It's just the moral thing ...

Still! In my subconscious I knew it was a simple exercise all along! Yes, that's it. I didn't do anything wrong! I'm innocent! I never cheated in my life, & I never will.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Erased Memories

We as humans, have this incredible ability to remember things that happened a long time ago. We could remember sweet happy days we once had as if it was yesterday. We could also remember the rainy days.

When we remember the happy moments, we laugh, & smile, & wish we could experience those light-hearted few seconds we had, & we try hard not to forget those good times. But the hard times are the memories everyone wants to forget, but can't.

Today, I was driving up a road that I haven't driven in in a very long time. My spirit was up, & everything was fine. However, my heart started to beat up, & I felt my throat starting to choke, as I passed next to an area I had not been to in ages. I stopped singing along with the CD I had on, as memories started to float from no where. Memories of pain.

I sighed, & wondered when will I be able to forget, & start living again. I wished that I could just be able to erase those certain memories from my mind. If I could just delete them forever. Discard that file rotting in my brain. But alas, it is not possible. True there are ways to cause memory loss, but that would erase all your memory, wouldn't?

What would we do if we lost all our memories? We would forget all about the bad things ever happened. That would be fine. But what about the times we laughed out loud? What about the times we appreciated life? What about the times we wished life never ends? How could we forget the faces of the people we all love & cherish? How could we forget about our mothers? Fathers? Our children? Our friends? Spouses? & anyone else that we love?

That just tells us that memory is truly is a blessing. May God always let us remember the good times, & helps us to be at peace with the hard ones.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Happy Ramadan

In just a few days, the Islamic world will be welcoming the month of Ramadan. The time when Muslims fast from Fajer (just before sunrise) till Maghreb (sunset).

It's a month where peace just fills the air! A whole month of worship, & great dedication to God.

God blesses all,

Mbarak 3alaikom eshahar, & Happy Ramadan.

No Sense of Time

Have you ever felt like you don't know what time it is? Like seriously not knowing what day it is. I have. So many times.

I usually get this Loss-of-Sense-of-Time syndrome, when my sleep hours change. For example, this last week in particular, my sleep pattern have really changed. I was sick, & slept all day, & woke up all night!!!

Now, I know most of you know that I have this bad habit of staying up late, but not like this!! I wake up at 11 p.m or 12 a.m, & stay till 12 the second day!!!

My mom's had it with me. She's ran out of nicknames for my bad habit!! She calls me "Khaffasha", which means Bat (or as I call myself, Bat girl!), and "Swayher Ellail", & that means, the one who stays up all night.

My mom is not the only one who's given me nicknames. My aunt calls me "Sharikat Ennom", i.e, "The Company of sleep", & just a few nights ago (I don't know, maybe it was yesterday, I'm still suffering from the syndrome!), my brother gave me a brand new nickname, "Akks Cinderella" or Cinderella The Opposite,(Becuase I come out of my room after 12!)

Anyways, I've woke up early today (way early, 1:00 a.m) & I'm not going to sleep until night comes. That is the only effective way I can fix my sleep dilemma!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Best Friend's Wedding!

A few days ago, my best friend got married.

I still don't feel that she's married, & neither does she! It seems like I still can call her whenever I can, & talk about guys & stuff, but no not anymore! She's married now, things will never be the same.

I'm so happy for her, don't get me wrong, but I'm gonna miss her. I'm gonna miss our spontaneous chitchats, & our calls that last for hours & hours. I'm gonna miss the fact that she was single, just like me! Now, we're one common thing short.

But I hope she won't change completely. & I know she won't. There are some parts of us will never change, no matter how we change.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Prosecutor Mind

A lot of people might know that I am an ex-Law student. A lot don't know why, but I'm not here to say why, or how. Because I'm really sick of everyone misjudging me for a quitter. As if I quit on purpose! Anyways, I do want to finish & have a Law degree, not for the audience! But for me. Yes, I do not wish to work in that field, but I want to have the degree for my own personal ego.

However, if I was to work in that field, I'd like to be a prosecutor. I've always felt, when crimes are involved (esp murders & sexual crimes), that I have a prosecutor mind. Who wants to defend a murderer? Who wants to defend a rapist? A child molester?? Even, crimes concerning money & trust. Crimes are crimes, no matter how big or small. They're simply WRONG.

Now, I know, you might say, but they are innocent people out there? Yes, there are. But how often do u find one?? Most of the accused people, are guilty as if there's no tomorrow! I really hate it when famous lawyers defend murderers & rapists! & for what? For reducing a few years? Or even worse, setting them free to recommit their crimes!

True it's their legal right, everyone accused of anything against the law must have someone to defend them, well it's not gonna be me!

Anyone, who might know me personally would think that I can't be a defence lawyer. Wrong, I can. But I don't want to.

When anyone close to me have a fight, get angry, needs to be defended, I step to the occasion whenever I see injustice shining like the bright sunny day. I wouldn't tolerate it. Even though, I tend to show neutralism, but I wouldn't bare injustice when it see it, esp when it concerns me, my family or friends.

However, when it comes to true criminals, I only have my prosecutor mind!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Self Discovery, anyone?

Last night, I started a survey about my self. I know It's weird, but It's really important to me. I'm in a phase where I want to see what I think about me, & compare it to what others perceive about me. I want to know what characteristics might apply to me, good or bad (with emphasis on the bad ones!), so that I can improve myself, & try to fix the bad qualities.

I used to never care much about people's opinions of me, but in recent years, I've discovered that it's a bit important, & can really lighten up your thoughts & days!

My goal is to ask people in four categories: First, there's family, then best friends/friends, colleagues, and finally total strangers.

Might sound strange, but people do that quite often without them thinking. They do take self quizzes, don't they? Well, what's better than surveying people to know more about yourself? I think it's really important.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Do not BURP, please.

It's one of the most annoying, most unrespectful, most dispicable thing to do. I dont care if you're dying, I don't care, whatsoever, you can hold it in, or at least release the air without producing any UGLY sounds!

Yes, I admit, it's my biggest pet peeve! Especially, when I'm eating or drinking!! I feel like vomiting, when I hear that gigantic ball of air leaving the body in that ugly way!!

I know guys do that most often, hell, they even compete in who makes the loudest sound! I really think any respectful human being is able to respect other people when they ask them not to bother them with such dirty actions.

Oh, wait, we don't have to even ask! You better know not to do it anyways!


Hello everyone :)

I'm new here!

I love writing, & i've always wanted to publish my work. I write in both Arabic & English, but I enjoy the latter more. I'm 23, a sudent (currently at Expression, The English Training Centre), & hopefully soon, I will be joining the AOU (Arab Open University).

I'd like to major in English (still dont know if it's going to be Linguistics, or Literature), & also would like to know more about writing in general & journalism in particular.

I'm going to use this blog for simply writing in any subject I think of at any time. That's why I chose " Just a Bunch of Thoughts" to be the title for my blog.

please do reply to my posts, your replies will be most appreciated :)



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