Rambling Thoughts...

Okay...

I don't know... How to describe what I'm going through right now...

I'll just type away what comes out...

I feel happy, sad, and agitated all at the same time??

I feel like crying but with a smile upon my face...

I feel like laying down resting my aching stressed-out body...

But I... *sigh*

I guess, I know what causes these stirs of emotions...

I just refuse to acknowledge it...

It's so sweet... like chocolate...

Too beautiful... too delicious...

But too much of it can leave you sick...

*chokes up*

I hate getting emotional...

I hate it!!! I HATE it!

Damn it, where are the tissues!!

Oh, it's getting hot in here... 

I need some fresh air...

*sniff*sniff*

*****

Why there is so much injustice in this world??

Why do innocent people have to suffer?

More importantly, why do I care???

WHY DO I CARE???

I hate this feeling!! I just feel all choked up and helpless...

There are so many things I wish I could do... 

But I can't... I'm helpless...

I just cry...

And feel even worse...

*****

There is so much beauty in this world...

I don't always see it...

I'm too busy taking it for granted...

The rare moments when I slow down or when I'm hurt...

Is when I realize I missed so much...

I wasted years of my life just not being as productive as I wished...

People shower me with mountains of applause and compliments...

But I don't see justice...

I know I can give out more... 

But I don't...

I'm too afraid...

But why am I so afraid?!!!

What is it that others have and I don't?

I know I am far better than so many, but they have reached far much than I did...

Why???

Am I so slow?

But is it speed I need?

Are we in a race???

Am I being the bunny and they're the tortoise? 

Have I been sleeping my way to success?

Perhaps so...

But my egotistic confidence have long gone...

I'm too confused...

Too scared to move another square...

I might go back to the first again...

*sigh*

*****

I need to have faith...

Keep what's buried under all these demons...

And get even more...

I need to be stronger...

I'm too sick...

Too sick of keeping my eyes shut...

Too sick of these heartaches and anxieties...

Too tired of being too tired...

Great... Now I have a headache...

Hee hee that made me smile...

Okay... 

Enough venting...

*Takes a deep breath*

_________________________________________________________

Image source: Beauty Scars

Mom's Love

Today is Mother's Day...

To a lot of people it's a day where they would shower their moms with gifts, flowers and such. That is sweet, indeed, but what about the rest of the year? Most people won't even bother to pick up the phone to check upon their moms.

But no matter what we give, it won't ever be enough.

If we just show a little more respect, then wouldn't be that the kind of love every mother deserves?





I remember watching the same story shared on the video above on a AbdulAziz Al-Mussalam series one day; I wonder what's the origin of that story...

It's wonderful regardless.

It just shows that no matter how badly you think of your mother, and how much you can never understand her (even if you have kids of your own sometimes), you can't truly see the way she cares about you, let alone ever repay here deeds.

For all those times you've kept her awake at night just for a stupid meaningless thing (mostly, just in your own eyes), remember that you hold the greatest treasure to the road to heaven.

Don't lose the key.

*****

On a funny note...





Allah Bless All Mothers & Fathers...

Everything Seems Sweeter Before Exams!

It's November, so it means it's time for exams!

I hate exams!

But who doesn't?!

I had a quiz today, my first this semester, & for the passed 3-4 days, I've been studying, & preparing for it. After all, it's an Arabic Exam! God, & it's all about grammar!

Well, I wouldn't really call it "real studying". The first three days, I was just skimming, bored to death, while listening to Michael Jackson's songs of the 90s. My real studying started 15 hours before the quiz to be precise.

Anyways, studying for this exam was nothing extraordinary. I procrastinated as much as I could! Let's face it, studying for a subject you love can be exhausting, let alone a subject you're not very fond of! Watching TV becomes very amusing & intriguing when you have to study for a quiz! You would watch anything, from movies to sitcoms, to different series that you had no prior interest in, in the first place! Even news seems amusing!!!

Not just watching TV, or going online, or playing video games would be more enjoyable during exams, but any exam hater- procrastinator would be glad to do whatever just to stay away from those humongous study books! You would want to take longer showers, & really try out the new fragranced shampoo & conditioner you bought two months ago. You would decide to tidy up your messy bedroom your mom begs you to tidy up every single day (even it was already tidy, you would gladly mess it up, then give it a once-over!). You would even chip in & help with the chores you normally hate doing. And you would like to linger & stay with your family, something you don't normally do!

You would spent hours on the phone, or IM chats with your friends, & start creating fairy tales, & laugh your head off, do whatever attracts you, no matter how silly it might be.

Also, (& that's more for the boys), you like to hang out & stay for longer hours than usual with your buddies assumed to be studying while you're actually cruising up & down the Gulf, & Love roads, the different malls of Kuwait, & even the local co-ops!! Any where, it doesn't really matter as long you're away from what's dreadful!

Then after the cloud of drunkenness evaporates, & you wake up with this huge hang-over that your conscious has burdened you with, you scurry in a hurry to grab any note book, & quickly flick through the pages, gaping at what seems to be a blur in a rush of adrenalin. You take a quick glance at the clock that feels like it's thumping along with your nervous frightened heartbeats. There's no time left; you gotta face the music!!!

*****

Aren't we all like that? Have we all done this, even if for once?

Let's be honest, even nerds dread exams!

God, maybe it's a guilty-pleasure syndrome? You feel guilty, yet you wanna stay away for as long as you could muster!

Whatever it is, Humans fear the unknown, & worry about the future, & one way to avoid all this, is by not thinking about it. Just trying to forget, & trying to be free from all the anxieties.

Weird, isn't it?

Well, not so much ...