Rambling Thoughts...

Okay...

I don't know... How to describe what I'm going through right now...

I'll just type away what comes out...

I feel happy, sad, and agitated all at the same time??

I feel like crying but with a smile upon my face...

I feel like laying down resting my aching stressed-out body...

But I... *sigh*

I guess, I know what causes these stirs of emotions...

I just refuse to acknowledge it...

It's so sweet... like chocolate...

Too beautiful... too delicious...

But too much of it can leave you sick...

*chokes up*

I hate getting emotional...

I hate it!!! I HATE it!

Damn it, where are the tissues!!

Oh, it's getting hot in here... 

I need some fresh air...

*sniff*sniff*

*****

Why there is so much injustice in this world??

Why do innocent people have to suffer?

More importantly, why do I care???

WHY DO I CARE???

I hate this feeling!! I just feel all choked up and helpless...

There are so many things I wish I could do... 

But I can't... I'm helpless...

I just cry...

And feel even worse...

*****

There is so much beauty in this world...

I don't always see it...

I'm too busy taking it for granted...

The rare moments when I slow down or when I'm hurt...

Is when I realize I missed so much...

I wasted years of my life just not being as productive as I wished...

People shower me with mountains of applause and compliments...

But I don't see justice...

I know I can give out more... 

But I don't...

I'm too afraid...

But why am I so afraid?!!!

What is it that others have and I don't?

I know I am far better than so many, but they have reached far much than I did...

Why???

Am I so slow?

But is it speed I need?

Are we in a race???

Am I being the bunny and they're the tortoise? 

Have I been sleeping my way to success?

Perhaps so...

But my egotistic confidence have long gone...

I'm too confused...

Too scared to move another square...

I might go back to the first again...

*sigh*

*****

I need to have faith...

Keep what's buried under all these demons...

And get even more...

I need to be stronger...

I'm too sick...

Too sick of keeping my eyes shut...

Too sick of these heartaches and anxieties...

Too tired of being too tired...

Great... Now I have a headache...

Hee hee that made me smile...

Okay... 

Enough venting...

*Takes a deep breath*

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Image source: Beauty Scars