Okay...
I don't know... How to describe what I'm going through right now...
I'll just type away what comes out...
I feel happy, sad, and agitated all at the same time??
I feel like crying but with a smile upon my face...
I feel like laying down resting my aching stressed-out body...
But I... *sigh*
I guess, I know what causes these stirs of emotions...
I just refuse to acknowledge it...
It's so sweet... like chocolate...
Too beautiful... too delicious...
But too much of it can leave you sick...
*chokes up*
I hate getting emotional...
I hate it!!! I HATE it!
Damn it, where are the tissues!!
Oh, it's getting hot in here...
I need some fresh air...
*sniff*sniff*
*****
Why there is so much injustice in this world??
Why do innocent people have to suffer?
More importantly, why do I care???
WHY DO I CARE???
I hate this feeling!! I just feel all choked up and helpless...
There are so many things I wish I could do...
But I can't... I'm helpless...
I just cry...
And feel even worse...
*****
There is so much beauty in this world...
I don't always see it...
I'm too busy taking it for granted...
The rare moments when I slow down or when I'm hurt...
Is when I realize I missed so much...
I wasted years of my life just not being as productive as I wished...
People shower me with mountains of applause and compliments...
But I don't see justice...
I know I can give out more...
But I don't...
I'm too afraid...
But why am I so afraid?!!!
What is it that others have and I don't?
I know I am far better than so many, but they have reached far much than I did...
Why???
Am I so slow?
But is it speed I need?
Are we in a race???
Am I being the bunny and they're the tortoise?
Have I been sleeping my way to success?
Perhaps so...
But my egotistic confidence have long gone...
I'm too confused...
Too scared to move another square...
I might go back to the first again...
*sigh*
*****
I need to have faith...
Keep what's buried under all these demons...
And get even more...
I need to be stronger...
I'm too sick...
Too sick of keeping my eyes shut...
Too sick of these heartaches and anxieties...
Too tired of being too tired...
Great... Now I have a headache...
Hee hee that made me smile...
Okay...
Enough venting...
*Takes a deep breath*
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